Help Me Get Drunk

Have you ever been walking down the street, see a panhandler with a sign that says “I lost my job, my wife, and my dog. Please help. God bless” and keep walking, completely ignoring him only to come to another guy, just a few feet away, with a sign that says “Help me get drunk and/or laid” and give him a buck? I have and I’d like to say I understand why, but the truth is that I have no idea.

I would say that it’s because of the second guy’s honesty. He wants to get drunk. He wants to get laid. (Can you blame him?) He’s giving it to you as it is. He’s keeping it real. And we, at least I, appreciate this candor.

But what about the other guy? People lose jobs everyday–the economy is on its way out in a hurry. It’s entirely possible. People lose wives everyday. Sometimes, they just leave. Maybe they leave cause their husbands lost their jobs. People lose dogs everyday, too. They run away for stupid reasons. Cats, rabbits, vacuums, bacon, shadow puppets. Maybe they leave because their owners lost their jobs. It’s entirely possible.

But do we believe him? No. Of course not. We think it’s a deliberate attempt to play with our emotions to get a bit of change so he can go get a bottle of Smirnoff Ice.

The same concept relates to marketing. Create believable messages and people will buy what you’re selling. Make up drivel that masquerades as honesty and you get hosed.

Consider this: Panhandlers in Chapel Hill NC are raking in $100 a day. One-hundred dollars a day, five days a week, 52 weeks a year and you’ve got a $26,000 career on your hands. Throw in two weeks of unpaid vacation and you’ve got $25,000. Journalists working for small newspapers make less than that. And they’re the gatekeepers of information.

Who do you think is making the money? The drunk or the guy without the dog? I put my money on the drunk. Why? We like honesty. We like it when people tell us the truth. Respect our intelligence and we’ll repay you in kind. Try and jerk us around and you get buptkis.

Like everything else, it’s all about the message and how you frame it.

Even if it’s on wet cardboard.